See Steph Conquer.

The only “windows” in our living room are the huge sliding doors that take up nearly a whole wall and lead out into the garden.

I love these doors and I even more love having them open during nice weather. The breeze is fantastic, the sunshine feels wonderful, etc etc cheesy happiness etc.

But there is one drawback to my sunshine-y, bird chirpy domestic bliss.

Insects. Not their existence, exactly, as I know they have their benefits to the overall system of nature blah blah blah… It’s mostly just the fact that THEY COME IN.

UNINVITED.

I was pulling the doors and curtains closed for the night when I spotted the intruders – 3 of them.

2 stringy wingy daddy long leggy things and a big ugly black spider. Shudder.

So, my immediate reaction was to do the girl thing: screech and call Ushwin.

He dutifully came in and proceeded to point out the obvious, “Yeah, get an arachnaphobe to come in and help. Great idea, honey!”

Right, what was I thinking. Well at least plug in the vacuum cleaner for me!

I then spent the next few minutes screaming as I aimed the vacuum hose at these creepy crawlies and sucked them into my canister of dust-filled doom. Not screaming like Rambo with a machine gun taking out a room full of baddies, but rather squealing like a frightened girl carrying out a necessary but yucky task. More like “Ewwww!” instead of “Rrraahhhh!”

But still.

Girly squeals or no, victory was and is indeed MINE.

(Sidenote: I don’t go for the whole British thing of ‘catching’ the intruding insect with a plate and a cup and then letting it go outside.  No sirree.  I prefer the “squish and flush” approach.  Or, as above, the screaming hoover maneuver.)